Ex Boyfriend & Mother! Absolutely Knot, Wedding & Dating Advice, VIP Table

This weeks episode features a story about an Ex Boyfriend and the Mother!! Absolutely Knot things you should/shouldn't be doing dating edition, Wedding & Dating Advice, and VIP Table: Best Villains.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

All right, welcome to Absolutely Not Another Podcast. I am Mr. Cassie alongside. Is me, Cassie. Is me. The real Cassie. The real Cassie. Not Mrs. Cassie. Correct. Mrs. Horrell Horrell. Horrell.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

I every time I say, like when we focus on our last name, I just think of my Bachelorette party, and everybody was singing, The Groovesman is a horrble. Or wait, what is it? The Brad's man is a whore.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

Yeah. Yeah. That was like the theme. That was the theme song. It had an L at the end. Yeah, that was an L. There was one time back in college, uh, previous relationship. We split ways, and the friends all went on social media and did the same thing. But like wrote whore L. L. So oh well. Oh well. Oh well. You see, you win some, you lose some. Correct. But uh great event that we went to last week. If you I don't know if you can tell, if you're watching, if you're watching using though, you have to tune into YouTube. We got matching tattoos. Flash tattoos. Flash tattoos. That's something that I said that we should have that should be at weddings that's non-traditional. And then the very next or that week we went to this event.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Yeah. We got invited to an event at the New Hazlitt Theater in Pittsburgh, which was pretty fun. Yeah. I had never been in the space, so it's always nice to like go in from like a planner's perspective or a vendor's perspective and see a beautiful space. And they had all different kinds of vendors, but that was definitely the most unique one. Like getting a tattoo at a wedding, I feel like that would be so fun.

SPEAKER_04 1:43

Right. And the other cool thing that was there.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Well, there was lots of cool things.

SPEAKER_04 1:47

Well, there was a lot of cool things. The other cool thing that I was right next to the tattoo artist was a cannoli station. Yeah, the strolling cannoli. Strolling cannoli. Yeah. It was really good.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Bella Christie's, and it was so delicious.

SPEAKER_04 2:00

Yeah. We before the event, we're like, I don't know what the food situation's gonna be. So we went to a local restaurant by our home and got a quesadilla, split a quesadilla, and then at the event, it was a quesadilla station.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Yeah, it was like I double-dipped.

SPEAKER_04 2:14

I did get quesadillas at both spots. I also double-dipped. But it was good. There were people that you have worked with uh at multiple weddings. Our most recent trailer event, the photographer that was at that wedding, which also was almost an hour and a half away from our home. She was there. Alex was gonna catch up with her. A previous guest, Victoria, she was there as well. And then we shouted out this DJ in this company Fireside, Eric. They had their selfie station and they had a DJ inside where the theater was at.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Yeah, and the theater was cool. You walked in, and then there was all different kinds of setups. Like four different planners and designers had like basically decked out their area on the stage. I kept calling it a ballroom, but I guess it's a theater stage. Um, but it could be transformed for like a wedding or an event, which I'm like, that is so fun, especially if you're a couple that maybe enjoys going to the theater or like likes musicals. I don't know. It's a cool spot for sure.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

Likes a play, maybe. It was, I would say, looking at the seating situation, probably like 250 theater style seats in there. Yeah. In the actual theater, nice little lobby. They had a signature cocktail, they had a prosecco, a little prosecco bar. Yeah, it was all right. It was fine.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

And the other service that I thought was really fun that I don't know why I didn't do it. I think we got sidetracked like networking with the other vendors there. But there was a picture booth, like you get your picture taken, it printed it out. But then you could have taken the picture and got it made into a little keychain, which I'm like, I meant to do that, but I got sidetracked.

SPEAKER_04 3:52

Yeah, we did take the picture. Yeah, we did take the picture. Went into the photo booth, just did not do that last. I didn't see it. Otherwise, I probably would have been.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

I'm like mad at myself. I that I didn't do it, but I'm like, you know what? We got sidetracked. We were being social because everybody there was super friendly and fun.

SPEAKER_04 4:10

Catching up with people, so like we haven't seen Eric at Fireside in a good while. We have been like we've texted recently, but uh just to see his face, it's good, good to see him. He is an avid survivor fan like myself, and their 10-year anniversary is uh the same day as our 10 10 year anniversary. Yeah, and there's potential here that uh we're not gonna like have a 10-year celebration on our anniversary together, but he's a big survivor fan, does a good job on the mic, can play a good Jeff Propes. He might do something for our 10-year anniversary for we survive 10 years. We survive 10 years and have a game with like our friends and family. This is the caveat if we do have that happen, is I really don't want to be the first eliminated, and I think everyone is gonna gun for me. So I'm really hoping that that doesn't happen in that light. Like it might I might have like an automatic 10-year anniversary idol in my pocket that I'm gonna have to play.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

I feel like in our friend group or family group, if we played Survivor, like you're gonna be made out to be the villain, you're getting voted off.

SPEAKER_04 5:16

Like not necessarily the villain, but it's like this guy you like it the most.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

People are gonna be like, gotta get him out.

SPEAKER_04 5:22

Yeah, like my yeah, they definitely have to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

I feel like because it would be our party, we would get immunity. At least for the first two.

SPEAKER_04 5:30

Yeah, first first two votes.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

We have two kids, so we can have immunity twice.

SPEAKER_04 5:33

Yeah, this is the Tyson idol. Actually, I'm playing him. Like I pick him up, like I'm losing this, and it is an idol. But um, not to go away from this, but this our our episode today is nothing to do with being nice and friendly. It's kind of the exact opposite.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

It's actually a kind of crazy story, but it to me it was a little bit funny. I think if I was in the bride's shoes in this situation, it would not be funny, but she makes light of it at this point since it's gone and passed. So um, we will dive into the story here. I have kind of a funny and wild story to tell you. My parents are divorced, like many parents, and they had a very messy breakup when I was in high school. I'm still not even sure why they divorced, but I think it could have been a combination of getting married young and not being able to attain the American dream. Unlike many, I lived with my dad instead of my mom. He had better work hours and was closer to school, which way which made my life as a student athlete much easier. However, it was enticing to stay at my mom's place in high school because she always was the parent who would let us throw parties. Although she didn't supply anything, she had no problem hosting a lot of kids at the house when she knew we were doing a lot of things that young high school kids probably should not be doing. You may think that this information is irrelevant, but I promise it comes back into play later in the story.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

There are always particular homes in high school that whenever someone was having a get together at that house, you knew what was gonna be going on. There's gonna be some adult beverages for underage kids.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Yeah, things that you should not be doing when you're in high school.

SPEAKER_04 7:12

Yeah, don't do it. Nobody follow dare.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

I don't know what it stands for.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

When I was in high school, I had a very serious boyfriend. We will call him Brad for the story. He was the quarterback and I was on the cheerleading squad. It was like out of a high school rom-com. At one point in my life, I thought he was the one. I laugh about it now because I have been happily married for 15 years, and it certainly is not to Brad. Brad and I broke up when we both went off to college in separate directions in separate states, and I ended up meeting my new husband, or my now husband, sorry, my senior year of college, and the romance was fast. We dated for about two years, we got engaged, and then we were married by our fourth year together. While engaged, we ended we eventually ended up moving back close to my dad, who still lived in my hometown. And you guessed it, it's the same town as my mom and my old high school boyfriend, Brad. Brad had made several dumb decisions, lost his scholarship to sports, got kicked out of college, and ended up moving back home. He got someone pregnant who he did not intend on staying with and was a father to a three-year-old little girl.

SPEAKER_04 8:17

I feel like Brad just is not with the relationship from his high school fling, but what transpired for him right now in this story. I feel like Brad's gonna be a focal point here. Also one of those like rom-coms. Yeah. He was the star quarterback, then he lost his scholarship, threw his life away, and then back in his hometown with a three-year-old daughter. Like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

May not the direction he saw his life go in.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

No, but maybe there's you know, then there's like more to the Yeah, we'll see. It might not end that way. I feel like there's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

As I mentioned before, I have always been closer to my dad. I still had a relationship with my mom, but things were always weird. And I always felt that she wanted to outshine me. I have to say, I hate parents like this. What do you mean? Like a pick me parent. Like they want to be better. Like, I did not have a parent like that. My parents were very like, go for it. Like you are the star, whatever you want to do. Which I think is why I'm so overly confident in myself. My mom tried to wear my clothes. She was always making comments about my looks and my weight and a lot of superficial things that do not matter to me. When we moved back home, my mom had shared that she had started a new nanny job that she absolutely loved. I was happy to see that she was happy, and I was eager to have her support while we wedding planned in hopes that maybe our relationship would be different now that I was in my mid-20s. It was odd to me that she was nannying all of the time. If I stopped over at her house or invited her to do something with me, she was always busy nannying at work. I did not think much of it because I was out of the house and I figured maybe she needed something to keep her busy and she must really love the family that she works for. My dad was super involved in the wedding planning process, helping us every step of the way, as well as my fiance Harry's family, who lived two states away. But they everyone was very excited for us to start our life together. We got to the point of sending out invitations, and although I had asked my mom several times for her list that she wanted to send invitations to, she had never given it to me. Like I said, her excuse was always she was busy with the baby that she nannied. I set aside five extra invitations for her to give out on her own accord, if she pleased, and I stopped over one day to give them to her. It was a bit of a shock when I walked in the door and I saw my ex-boyfriend from high school standing in the kitchen with his shirt off. My mother fumbled around really quickly and picked up a three-year-old little girl. It hit me then that she must be the nanny for Brad and his family. Why wouldn't she mention this to me? Maybe she didn't realize who he was, but I guess it really doesn't matter. Brad was someone I used to be close with, but we clearly had both moved on. We small talked a little bit and I left the invitations on the counter and I headed out. It wasn't until I got in my car that I thought again about how weird it was that his shirt was off in my mom's kitchen. But at the end of the day, I was so busy and stressed out about planning my wedding that I didn't give it another thought and I drove home, letting my fiancee know that my mom had the invites and we and she was going to send them to whomever she'd liked, so we could potentially see five to ten extra people that we might not be super familiar with.

SPEAKER_04 11:23

I'm sorry, but like I don't want to giving a spoiler alert, but I feel like I know where this is going.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Yes. At first, when I was reading the story, I really was like, I don't know what this is about, but we're about to get to it. The RSVP started rolling in, and I asked my mom if she would like to sit at a table with my aunts or if she wants to sit at a table with some of her friends. That is when she said that she's happy to sit at whatever table would make sense for Brad. I stopped for a moment and I asked her what she was talking about, and she mentioned that she was bringing Brad as her plus one. Still confused, I asked her why she would be bringing her employer as her plus one. And she responded, he's not my employer anymore. He is my boyfriend.

unknown 12:05

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Oh no. You heard that right. My mother was dating my high school boyfriend, the one who took my V card and was the love of my life for four years. My immediate response was anger. Why in the world is she dating my old boyfriend? They are 24 years apart in age. She watched him grow up with me. It was so weird and so gross, in my opinion. I have to agree that like large age ranges sometimes gross me out.

SPEAKER_04 12:32

Yeah, like not I'm like, oh yes, that like initial like age factor is a thing, but the fact that your daughter dated him, your daughter was with them.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Like dating him.

SPEAKER_04 12:45

Oh my god. Like it's a this is wild. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

She proceeded to tell me that the flirting between them started at the tail end of high school, right before he went off to college. Side note, we were dating up until the fall, and that's when we broke up during college. So she was like having eyes for this young man when her daughter was still dating him.

unknown 13:08

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

It wasn't until he was kicked out of school and returned back to our hometown that they began to see each other casually. I wanted to vomit. I was not a parent, but I could not imagine doing this to my child or dating one of their friends, especially one of their exes. Yeah. What the actual F.

SPEAKER_04 13:26

Like that's like I feel like there's a few things. There's kind of things a lot of things that are off limits in terms of like dating. This might be one one.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Yeah, that might be the top one. Dating your child's ex.

SPEAKER_04 13:40

Sounds weird. Sounds gross. It's gross.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Nasty. This turned into a huge screaming match where I asked her to leave my house and told her that she was no longer invited to my wedding. A few weeks passed, and I received a text from Brad. I did not have the number saved in my phone because I had received a new phone when I went to school. The text was very simple. Aren't we all mature enough for me to attend with your mother to your wedding? I thought we ended on good terms. We went our separate ways. It just so happens that fate brought me to your mom's doorstep, and she's been so helpful with Emma. That must be the daughter's name. I needed to know more about this and why they were even together. So my fiance and I decided to give them a chance to explain. I don't even think I would give my mom a chance to explain, but she's being nice. After having them over for dinner one night, it was very clear to me. Brad lost was lost. His girlfriend at the time dumped a child into his lap and left. That's kind of sad. And he was left alone raising a child by himself. My mom was lonely and desperate, and somehow their paths crossed, and my mom was able to fill a void that he had, and vice versa. I also feel that my mom wanted to show me that she got what I had, because that's how she was when I was a teenager. I cannot deny it was so weird to see, especially because Brad seemed like a completely different person. And my mom not only was acting like his lover, but also acting like his mother. Gross. Even writing this out makes my stomach hurt.

SPEAKER_04 15:04

Yeah, this could be this could be one of your skits. Like I think you might as well put it over there as well. But it also is probably the craziest Hallmark movie storyline that can be thought up. Yes. Like some uh a writer's room for Hallmark Studios, if that's what the studio is.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

Like this is it.

SPEAKER_04 15:26

This is I I think I got a really good one.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Well, it is crazy. I don't know. I'm just thinking from like my perspective, this would be so weird.

SPEAKER_04 15:34

Yeah, like leaving on or separating on good terms, and then he probably wouldn't have been invited to the wedding.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

No.

SPEAKER_04 15:42

Had him not been dating her mom. So she was already anticipating, like wherever Brad sits I'm in. Maybe they did have like a nice closing relationship. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Yeah, they didn't really go.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

Now that the mom is with Brad, I don't it's just weird. It's very weird. I don't even know how to like react other than being like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

I would not even be giving them a chance to explain. I'd be like, you are not coming to my wedding, period. However, they're not like that. So so we decided we would allow him to attend the wedding with my mom. But he would not be included in any of the family pictures or anything like that. My my dad was super cordial and didn't seem to care. And my fiance was good with whatever I would allow. So, like, they're kind of like, whatever, it's up to you. The week of the wedding, my mom tried to push baby Emma into being the flower girl. She even went out to the store and bought a really cute white dress and a little basket with flowers and showed it to me. I explained to my mom that although I understood Emma was a part of her life, we were not having kids, and I did not want a flower girl at my wedding. And if I was to choose a flower girl, it would not be my ex-boyfriend's child. Yeah. She explained she is basically like my baby sister because she was raising her yuck. I shut down that down real quick. Just because your mom now has a not even a real step kid, but like your boyfriend has a kid, doesn't make it your sibling. It's not the same. Like if you marry, then yeah, they would become your step sibling.

SPEAKER_04 17:13

But there's a probably a huge age age gap.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Yeah, this baby is three, and she's probably in her mom. She said what? She said mid-20s, so I would say like she's probably 27.

SPEAKER_04 17:22

You mentioned it was like a 24 age gap with Brad and the mom, so I'm assuming she's like 24, maybe 25, 26.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Yeah. She said mid-20s, but I'm like, you can't just force that type of relationship.

SPEAKER_04 17:39

Not even mine, but yeah, I've been was naming him, but now they did end up attending the wedding, and shortly after they ended up breaking up.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Oh didn't work out for it exists. No. My mother still sees Emma time to time, and we see Brad and passing in town. The whole experience is so strange, and honestly, I think it was just another way for my mom to try and knock me down a notch. But all I but all I did was make all it did was make me feel bad for her. She's still single, dating lots of men, I guess. Luckily, most of them are within 10 years of her age, and I have no other exes she can try to snatch. I mean, I'm I am happy that they didn't end up together because I just feel like that would be weird.

SPEAKER_04 18:22

It wouldn't have ended. That would not have ended in a happily ever after, I think, with the mom and ex-boyfriend from high school.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

No, I feel like that must have been like a relationship of passion. And then like maybe when they attended the wedding, it got like too real. And Brad and her were like, Yeah, this is weird. Yeah, we can't be doing that. It doesn't say why they brought it up.

SPEAKER_04 18:42

Brad probably looks back on it as like, I got with a mother and daughter. Eskimo sister, mom and mom and daughter. Yeah, top tier and like one of you can't be a uh mother dating your daughter's ex. Like that's just like uh absolute no no. The other one that that happens far too frequently is husband starts getting with babysitter. Also no-go. But yeah, you cannot be a mom, cannot be a baby. Like there's a lot of that's an off limits.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

I also just feel that maybe they both were like in the story, she said they were both like desperate for something, and they just it it was a misfortunate crossing.

SPEAKER_04 19:25

He was looking for somebody to like help out with it, like he needed a nanny. He needed somebody to watch his daughter while he was working, and it just so happened that she was available and then she became available for more than just nanny. She was mommying.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Yeah, I don't know. That's messy, very messy.

SPEAKER_04 19:45

I'm glad that they broke up because that would just whenever there is like family, like someone's getting brought into a family that's like an ex like that, or just like beyond that, the rest of the family is like very they're like walking on eggshells. Like, how do we approach this situation? Yeah, sometimes you just gotta take it straight on and be like, This is this is not it. This ain't working out.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

This cannot happen.

SPEAKER_04 20:07

All right, absolutely not. We just beared witness to a mother dating a daughter's ex. So these are things you should or should not be doing in relation to dating. I'm ready. First one dating a sibling or a best friend's ex.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Absolutely. Very similar to this one's. I feel like it's on it's online with a parent. You you just can't.

SPEAKER_04 20:32

Yeah, once they're like a best the best friend, I feel like could happen more often than a sibling situation. A sibling one, yeah. Like that's done. Yeah, that relationship is cut.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Yeah, best friends probably happen more frequently, or like I feel like in high school, like when you're more young and immature, that's when you see that kind of stuff happen. But it is like altering to your friendship. Would like your friendship is then done.

SPEAKER_04 20:57

I feel like probably in high school, there's probably like a moment of not talking to each other anymore, and then you reconnect. Like, oh, that was silly of us to get mad at each other over this person.

SPEAKER_05 21:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:10

College, post-college, I think that the friendship ends at that point. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

Depending how serious the relationship is, because some high school relationships are way more serious than other ones. Other ones that are like, oh, we held hands.

SPEAKER_04 21:23

I feel like there's a lot of people in my hometown that I've seen, there's a lot of switch swaps since high school. Like this person was with this person, and now they're married to this person. Yeah. And those guys were probably close, but not like buddy buddy, not best friends. But that's just like the nature of staying in your hometown, going back home. It's gonna happen. You're gonna end up with somebody that was probably dating somebody. Like I dated somebody in middle school for a month, and I maybe maybe said one word to her in that month. You know, it's like a middle school relationship. Yeah, it's not serious. And then she started dating someone else, and they were together for multiple years. And then I rode a roller coaster with her at Cedar Point. We almost rekindled our middle school relationship. And this guy wanted to pummel my face.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Yeah, mad.

SPEAKER_04 22:09

Very mad. But I actually never just like a roller coaster. We went up the hill and then it was downhill after that. Nothing ever happened. All right. Attending a wedding as a first date. First date.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

A first date. I would say absolutely not. That's pressure. Yeah, it's it's pressure because most of the time you're introducing them to like a bunch of people. And if it why would you want to go on a first date to a wedding? Probably to a wedding that you don't even know the people getting married.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

Yeah. If you did know the people, not that it would be awkward, like I didn't get an invite, or maybe they did, like, hey, we're both going together. You want to make this a date?

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Yeah, I guess maybe if it was two singles that that were in the same friend group, they're like, you know, maybe we should try. And they made it a date. I could see that. But if you're like, you get a plus one and it's your very first date, you're on like a dating app and it's like unhinged.

SPEAKER_04 23:04

You want to go to this wedding with me? Like, what are you doing this weekend? I have a wedding, you're welcome to come. I have a plus one. Like, why do you have a plus one? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

I also feel that that could be a movie.

SPEAKER_04 23:15

Getting ideas here.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

We're getting ideas.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

Hallmark, call us. Yeah. I we just trademarked that I patented. Moving in together before being engaged.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

I would say absolutely yes.

SPEAKER_04 23:26

We did it without realizing we were gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:29

We were dating for a few months and expected multiple roommates. So we got a spot. We let our boss know, like, hey, we landed this location and no other interns got hired. Got hired. So then we started, we lived together for two months. Two and a half months, give or take. Yeah. And then we were, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

I also feel that living with someone is such a good test of your relationship because you know if you're gonna be able to make it work.

SPEAKER_04 23:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Like you learn the quirks, good and bad, about each other, and you know, like when you need space. It's like a good trial period. Yeah. Because obviously, when you're getting married, you're gonna be living with that person for the rest of your life. Can you put up with this person? So I would say, like, I would almost encourage people to move in together.

SPEAKER_04 24:14

I think it's a necessity anymore. I don't know how people did it. I feel like it was always like arranged marriage is back in the day. Like way back in the day. Like you're gonna marry this person and she's the ceremony's next week.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Yeah, well, that would suck. Well, some people have to still have to deal with that. But I would say absolutely yes, move in together. Yeah. I don't mind it. Maybe not buy a house.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Don't buy a house.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Yeah, don't buy a house together. Rent. So that like if it doesn't work out, you can get out of it.

SPEAKER_03 24:43

Yeah. Like I'm not trying to force people to buy really, it's hard to buy right now in general.

SPEAKER_04 24:49

Okay, keeping nice gifts from exes.

unknown 24:52

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

It depends on what the gift is. Like I guess if it's a piece of jewelry, I would say absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 24:59

Like something that, like I got an engagement ring, you got it.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Like not even a ring, but like, I don't know. If you got like a necklace or something that's like T for Troy. Yeah, like if it was a necklace to be like, oh, we're celebrating three years together, why would you want to continue wearing that after relationship's over? So something like jewelry, I would say absolutely not. If they bought you an iPad or something like hell yeah, I'm using that. I'm keeping that. So it depends on the gift. But if it's jewelry or something like sentimental, I'd say get rid of it.

SPEAKER_04 25:24

Yeah, I agree. Ordering their meal for them on a first date.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

Like Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

But they pick the meal.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

Like, you know how sometimes I think you'll watch like dating shows and they're like, I'll have the steak, and she'll also have the steak.

SPEAKER_04 25:42

Yeah, that's what like, yeah, he's picking the meal for them.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

No, absolutely not. That's like icky to me.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

Yeah, like this is what you're gonna eat. I think in general, controlling. Yeah, like the only time I feel like not really that like I'm not siding with it. I think absolutely not, but it's whenever we're getting like takeout and we're deciding on what it is. I'm not telling like we're gonna get Chinese food. I'm not telling you what kind of Chinese food, yeah, but like we're gonna have this, this is our dish tonight.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Yeah, I'm thinking of like if you're at a fancy restaurant and they're like ordering for you or like portion controlling what you can eat.

SPEAKER_04 26:18

Yeah. No. She's only gonna have the salad. I saw what she had for lunch. It's like I should be in the server here in the red flag city. Okay, dating someone who likes to have dedicated and separate time with their friends.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Absolutely, yes. Um I don't like I really do not like couples that only hang out with each other sometimes. I'm like, Yeah, you need your like friends, you need space, you need your own hobbies. I feel like it, I know it works for couples, a lot of people that will like do a lot together, but you still need, I think, a little bit of separation.

SPEAKER_04 26:52

Yeah, like we share some like similar hobbies, this um doing stuff with the kids, but then like if I want to go, hey, I'm gonna go golfing with the buddies. You're not gonna come. I'm like, I like I like I go golf all the time. I just want to go to the house. Or if I want to share with so and so.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Okay, great. I think it's weird when people don't do that and they only hang out with their partner, or you're getting together with your friends, and then like I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_04 27:22

Um you're none of your friends' boyfriends' husbands do it. But like in a scenario of you get together with your girlfriends, but Brad is joining in with Bella.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

It's like, can't you do something without him?

SPEAKER_04 27:35

Yeah, cut him loose, cut him out. We don't need him here. I don't want him. Uh having your ex as your emergency contact.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 27:45

Yeah, I don't, yeah. I guess sometimes you'd probably like miss, like you don't get rid of it.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

Yeah, maybe.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

But in your phone, well, not not really.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

If you don't have family, I guess, and maybe you ended on good terms and that person lives in close proximity and you don't have anyone else, and it's like a last resort, then fine. Otherwise, no, put like somebody else.

SPEAKER_04 28:05

Well, thinking back, it just happened on the pit season two, that guy that had like the brain issue. Oh, yeah, and then the ex came, and then it came out to be like she actually was engaged to another man. Yeah. That might have like they didn't really give us an end, but I feel like they like like left it to interpretation. But his he got angry because of his brain. Yeah, because of what was happening in his mind physically. So then she probably was thinking back, like, wow, is this but if he had not put that left her as the emergency contact, she would have not known, she wouldn't have known. Season three, they need to rekindle that. Sometimes on the pit they would like stretch out too many stories, like stories, too many episodes.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:47

The last season. Dating someone whose family dislikes you immediately. It depends on how much I would like them. Yeah, to try to be like, hey, I can persuade them.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

Yeah, some some people are just like quick to judge, I guess.

SPEAKER_04 28:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

It dep yeah, it depends on how serious you are about the other person. If you meet this person, you're like, he's he's my soulmate, she's my soulmate. Then like I feel like you should give it a fighting chance, see if the family might come around.

SPEAKER_04 29:11

Yeah, and sometimes dads, I think more than moms, have this, some not me. Like they try to act bigger and tougher to like, that's my daughter. Yeah. And le lo and behold, they probably were just like doing it as a joke. They weren't, they didn't even dislike him, but they were trying to be intimidating.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:33

And turns out he was they end up being best friends happily ever after.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

I'm like, was that about my dad?

SPEAKER_04 29:40

No, it wasn't. No, I know my dad's pretty friendly. My dad's pretty friendly.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

He's intimidating, but he's friendly.

SPEAKER_04 29:45

Your dad's intimidating just based off of like stature. That man, I think like if he put my head in a headlock and squeezed, I would he could do it to a watermelon and it would break. That's something he is strong, strong man. Shout out, Ron. All right. Dating someone who posts every relationship milestone up or down online. I was Pittsburgh, he's their milestone.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Milestone. I'm gonna say absolutely not. I like have no problem when people share the relationship, but when it's like they're together, they break up, and then it comes an anniversary, and it's like, we've been through the roughest life, but we love each other so much. I'm like, oh, why? Yeah, or like when it's like they're celebrating month anniversaries, I'm like, oh no.

SPEAKER_04 30:35

Yeah, like it's as an adult, as an adult, I would do it in middle school.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

It's like, oh yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_04 30:41

Like a my away message, happy one month, babe, and then putting up their initials and then a lyric to like a fallout boy song.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

But when you're like an adult and it's all you post is like what's going on in your relationship, I think that's a red flag.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

Yeah. Like I don't know. If we do our anniversary, like I'll share at this point. I like I'll share some things like for our wedding anniversary.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

Yeah. And maybe birthdays, Mother's Day. Yeah, we'll share about each other.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

But I'll like share previous posts sometimes. Sometimes I like Mother's Day, or like if there's this your birthday and there's photos from like this year. I was doing it for multiple years where I would like crop your face off. Like, happy birthday to my amazing wife. Yeah, you we would do that to each other. But yeah, you don't need to post like mild milestone milestones. I don't care that much.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

No.

SPEAKER_04 31:34

Also, I'm judging hard. Yes. Okay, last one sharing your streaming passwords within the first month of dating.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

I mean, we probably did that, but I nowadays I would say absolutely not because those are expensive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:50

And there's one for every single thing. Yeah. When you if you're not living together and you have like split locations, that doubles your charge.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

And sometimes it kicks you off, and it's like they're listening too.

SPEAKER_04 32:03

Yeah. Do you have too many people tuning in right now? WTF. I'm I'm here. This is my account.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

I would say, like, nowadays.

SPEAKER_04 32:12

Not even with people. We're not dating. Like, we don't share with anybody, actually.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

I'm I'm like nowadays, I would be like, no. Back in the day when like Netflix would let anybody have a password. Cool.

SPEAKER_04 32:21

It's like nine bucks.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

No, like five TVs have it, and it's like you can't access your Netflix.

SPEAKER_04 32:26

I'm like, that's the limit. No. Sometimes on my YouTube TV, it pins me at a location that's in like New Hampshire. I've never been to New Hampshire in my life.

SPEAKER_01 32:37

Who got your login in town?

SPEAKER_04 32:38

Someone in New Hampshire has my login, and I haven't been there. But like I can't be like, I want to watch something that's local. Like you can't watch it because you're not in range. Like I'm physically here, and then I go to like change my preference. So whoever's in New Hampshire that has it. It might be log off. It's somewhere in the New England area, but someone has it. But I also have never been to Vermont for a few days, Boston for a few days. So and that was years ago.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

I don't know. I've never been to those places, so it's not me.

SPEAKER_04 33:08

It's not me. Next segment. We're doing a best advice. Dating and marriage. Marwage. Marriage. Marriage is a way of life. Christian and Derek. I don't know. Okay, so we're gonna give one piece of advice for dating, one piece of advice for marriage. Okay. Do you want me to go first or are you gonna go first?

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

Um for dating? Well, yeah, do dating and then for dating.

SPEAKER_01 33:36

My advice would be while you're dating, experience different things together so you can see how your partner reacts in certain scenarios. Not like a test, but like travel with them.

SPEAKER_04 33:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

You could because some people are like will do certain things and you're like, wait a minute, I needed somebody that's gonna be, you know, chill about this, or I don't know. Like, see if you're compatible when you're doing stuff other than just fun stuff. Yeah. Is that a weird advice? No, that's good advice. I don't know like how to explain it. Like if you travel, if you have somebody that dies, like big things that could happen, like see how your partner is reacting in those and like supporting you or going through things.

SPEAKER_04 34:19

Not that you can force bad things to happen, but like the dying thing might be a little aggressive. Like yeah, date someone that has a family member that's getting close.

SPEAKER_01 34:27

No, I'm just saying, like, if you can experience some of these things with your partner before you're married, you have a sense of like how your life is gonna be.

SPEAKER_04 34:37

Like, and I I would piggyback piggyback, piggyback off of like family instances, like how are they when they're like go to a when you're invited to a family holiday, like make sure you do attend. Like, how are they interacting with the family? How are they introducing you? How is the family receptive of that individual?

SPEAKER_01 34:59

I mean, another test for me, especially like when I started bringing you around, is like, can they stand on their own with my family? My family can be like they're fun, but they're a lot. They're like I I come from a very extroverted family. Like everybody's pretty loud, the majority of us. I'm talking next to my family.

SPEAKER_04 35:18

Yes, no, yes, no.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

But for me, like intimidating can my partner stand on their own, like have conversations with my family, and they're not like leeching onto me.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

Yeah, like right next to you, or like always have to be side by side. To me, that was something that's like okay. Yeah. Like I need to be in the room.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

Yeah, which you checked that box.

SPEAKER_04 35:38

And I like not necessarily a like for like how do you how is the guy how is the guy's relationship with the mom if she is like present?

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Is that your advice?

SPEAKER_04 35:55

Yeah, like you know, if you're a woman looking to date a man, like how is what's the guy's relationship with his mom? Yours? Yeah, mine's you guys are best buds. Best buds, she loves me. Pretzels. Yeah, pretzels, unless I uh unless my son wants a hard pretzel and I got him a soft.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

No, that is good advice. Like, see how your partner treats their parents or like their relationship with their siblings.

SPEAKER_04 36:21

Yeah, things of that nature. Okay, uh, mowage though. Okay, marriage.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

I would say is best advice is to try to find ways to laugh about life with your partner. Because sometimes marriage is hard, there's things that happen, and like you gotta be able to laugh about certain things.

SPEAKER_04 36:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

I don't know, like humor and laughing together is like something that we do a lot.

SPEAKER_04 36:48

Yeah, if you even get in some sort of spat, like eventually we're gonna go back and like joke about it.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

Yeah, like it's not that serious. In the moment it might have been like, oh, this is serious, but like years later we could think about it and be like, What why were we being so dumb?

SPEAKER_04 37:04

Yeah, laugh at it off.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

Okay, what's your marriage advice?

SPEAKER_04 37:08

Oh gosh. Um, well, uh this is getting married advice.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

It was it's advice my dad gave me. Like, doing it. I'm like, okay, Ted. It's advice my dad gave me before our wedding ceremony that I give to like anyone that I'm a groomsman for or best man is when you're getting married during the ceremony, like don't take your eyes off of your spouse the entire time during the ceremony. You might like gaze up at the um whoever's the officiant. You might like glance when your buddies and the bridesmaids are coming down the aisle. But whenever the ceremony is taking place, like don't like look at your partner. Yeah, just look at your partner the whole time. I thought it went well. And we were laughing, we were giggling and crying.

SPEAKER_01 37:55

It was a ball of emotions. I I also say like to my couples, same thing about when you're getting married is like not look at your partner, but hold your partner's hands. Yeah, that too. It's like steadies you and like gets you in the in the feels.

SPEAKER_04 38:07

Yeah, don't like and wait to smooch.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Wait to kiss. Wait to kiss.

SPEAKER_04 38:11

All right, VIP table. We are the twins from the parent trap. Yep. Well, you got you got gum on. That's like got a gum tag on the left side. There's gum? No, like come here.

SPEAKER_05 38:23

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 38:26

There it is. It was like a gum wrapper.

SPEAKER_01 38:32

This was shoved in my backpack.

SPEAKER_04 38:33

This is best villains. Cinematic, TV show, and like villain. People like that. People would know. Like, I got a few villains that I can list on here, but like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Mine are all pretty mine are all, I think, pretty well known.

SPEAKER_04 38:51

Okay. You can go first.

SPEAKER_01 38:57

Okay. My number one, shooter McGavin.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Oh my gosh, I thought I was gonna be able to steal that one. Shooter McGavin. You know, last time I let uh the wedding singer go and I didn't put it on my list, and then you snagged it up. So definitely shooter. He's gonna be number one.

SPEAKER_04 39:13

Shooter McGavin.

SPEAKER_00 39:14

He's like a funny villain.

SPEAKER_04 39:15

Yeah, just hilarious. Like if I go golfing with buddies, whenever a putt is made, it happens, you know. Sometimes I don't make the punt and I like club length, but when I do make a good one, I made one from like 20 feet away. I shootered it. Yeah. That's a great pick. All right. Uh, my first pick is going to be Lord Voldemort.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

No, that was my that was next on my cannot.

SPEAKER_05 39:45

Harry Potter, come to die.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

Yeah, he is like such a good villain. And he he evolves physically, which is like you don't see that a lot. He's still just evil little type.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

Oh my boy! He got my boy. That's not even Lord Voldemort, though. Shall not be named.

SPEAKER_04 40:02

Yeah, he shall not be named. I should have warned people that I was gonna say his name. Yeah. All right, and my second pick is going to be the fairy godmother from Shrek 2.

SPEAKER_00 40:15

That is a good one. I did not have that.

SPEAKER_04 40:17

No, I probably could have got her last pick, but I've said Shrek 2 before. We love a good Shrek 2. She makes a good villain. She has a great song near the end of it as well.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

She is a good villain because, like, you know, she's the villain the whole time, but like Shrek doesn't know that.

SPEAKER_04 40:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:39

And you're like rooting for him to find out.

SPEAKER_04 40:42

Yeah. Also, the Shrek 5 trailer just came out. People are a little up in arms about how like they look, like they changed the appearance of the streets.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

I thought Shrek was done. Still going on.

SPEAKER_04 40:52

Well, they they had a teaser last year. Zendaya's playing one of the daughters, and everybody online like predicted what this was going to be about.

SPEAKER_05 41:02

Like the daughters, but Daddy, I need to get away. This isn't my I want to live my life.

SPEAKER_04 41:09

And everyone's like, that's gonna be the plot of the thing. And then they I think they rewrote it. And now it's but they didn't re-change the appearance. They didn't go back to the old ways.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

I'm gonna look it up.

SPEAKER_04 41:20

It'll it's the kids will like it. I'll probably like I'm after Shrek the Third.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

I kind of I don't I've only really watched Shrek 1 and Shrek 2. I could not tell you what happens in three and four.

SPEAKER_04 41:30

They have there's kids Shrek Forever After with Rumpel Stiltskin, or maybe that isn't, but they're like not as good Rumpel Stiltskin as a good one.

SPEAKER_01 41:38

He wasn't on my list, but I'll right.

SPEAKER_04 41:41

Uh you're up with two picks.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

My next one is going to be Scar from the Lion King. Yeah, he was like my first villain as a kid. He was like, oh, evil Scar. And then he recently resurfaced when Mufasa came out. Your favorite live action.

SPEAKER_04 41:56

I think it's good. I like the Mufasa one. I predicted that they were gonna come out with the Mufasa years ago, 10 years ago. And I like somebody posted something. I think it was like my buddy Cody posted about it. Not like about a movie. It was something along the lines of like they're gonna come out with other sequels. And I posted and replied on the group chat of they gotta come out with the Mufasa origin story. Yeah. Someone replied on it, like, that's a stupid idea. They'll never do it. I'm like, okay, you just probably look dumb right now.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Okay, I get to pick another one then, too, right? Because that was my my second was Scar. I'm so mad you stole Voldemort because I was I was like, Oh, that's such a good one. Okay, my third one is going to be Thanos. Yeah, that's I feel like if you're if you're a Marvel fan, if you watched Avengers, like Thanos is the ultimate villain, he sucks.

SPEAKER_04 42:46

Yeah, just like led, and it was great that the previous Marvel, um, whatever they call it, the Infinity saga, like all the movies, like the end credits, it all led into the two movies with Thanos.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

I mean, like, he's such a good villain. He's bad.

SPEAKER_04 43:06

He's bad, he's bad to the bone. Uh, my third pick is going to be the Joker.

SPEAKER_01 43:15

Oh, he was on my list.

SPEAKER_04 43:16

But like primarily, obviously, there's been a lot of jokers. I'm not gonna do the Jared Leto Joker. Like, I think the Jack Nicholson's fine. The Heath Ledger one? The Heath Ledger one's the one. Hell yeah. Even like the Mark Hamill as the animated series, that's a good one too. But Heath Ledger's Joker. Yeah. One one in terms of villains portrayed. He wanted uh an Oscar.

SPEAKER_01 43:38

He was so good. That was like he like freaked me out watching that movie.

SPEAKER_04 43:41

I'm like, he was in it. He was that movie should have been called The Joker.

unknown 43:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 43:47

Joaquin Phoenix had one. I thought it was fine the first one, but the second one I didn't even watch it because I just everyone was saying how terrible. So I'm not sure. But let me rehype up the Joker, it's a really good villain.

SPEAKER_01 43:59

A good villain.

SPEAKER_04 44:00

Okay, did I I got two, right? Yeah, then you do your fourth. Oh, this is tough because I have to pick mine, I know it. I'm not gonna pick it.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

No.

SPEAKER_04 44:09

I'm gonna go with Bowser from Mario.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

That's a good one. I didn't even have him on my list.

SPEAKER_04 44:14

Like that my video game skills originated with Mario. And like he was the big bad villain to defeat and win against. And now they have this movie, which I think Jack Black did a phenomenal job at it. Yes. But like all of the Mario games, it's Bowser is the villain, Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine, underrated but absolutely incredible game. Yes. Like those two. Whenever it was like COVID year, and I had like nothing to do, we didn't have kids yet. And like, hey, I'm just gonna go and play some Super Mario 64 real quick. Like the the boss stage stages of Super Mario 64, they would like freak me out sometimes because of Bowser. But now that I'm playing it, like when I played it again, it's like uh it really wasn't necessarily but like you play Mario Party and then you land on the Bowser space. You're like no one of the most like gut-wrenching things, and you know what? Screw Bowser because there have been times that you know you go to like what's your punishment landing on the Bowser space, and sometimes it's like receive 99 stars and then it stops has anyone received 99 stars, but it always flips away, it always like he like flips it.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

Someone probably got 99 stars once. It had to have happened once happened once algorithm. Someone someone reach out if you've got 99 stars from Bowser. All right, your last pick. Okay, my last pick. I knew you were not gonna pick this. It is the trunchable from Matilda. Like she does like evil things to kids. Like she's not like it's obviously like a G-rated movie, but that lady is terrible and she's like Miss Honey's aunt killed her parents. The Trunchable's the worst, and she is just hideous looking. And one time someone on the internet was like, I know you know what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_00 46:09

Someone was like, Did anyone tell you when you have your hair up in a bun, you look like the trunchable? I'm like, that is the worst thing you could ever tell me. That's on my list of worst villains. I'm like, how dare you?

SPEAKER_04 46:22

They probably had no profile picture even on their name. It's a good pick. I have there there are classic ones that we both left off. Vader, yeah, Darth Vader was like. I was gonna pick him, but you know what? He ended up being a hero at the end. So spoiler alert. All the rest of mine were taken. Doctor Doom. That like I was gonna pick him, but then you pick Thanos. I think Doctor Doom is a bigger villain, so I didn't want to like lower your um Hans Landa from Die Hard.

SPEAKER_01 46:51

I had Mother Goggle from Tangled because she also stole a child.

SPEAKER_04 46:55

Loki, but then he has a good story arc. I have Cell from Dragon Ball Z.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

I've never watched, I've never watched Dragon Ball Z gotta tell you.

SPEAKER_04 47:02

Uh Joffrey and Ramsey Bolton. Okay. Pennywise. And then my last two, I had like he was he's like not like he's a villain.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

Some of the scary movies, I'm like, they're villains, but also like it's a scary movie. Like they're also the star.

SPEAKER_04 47:16

Yeah. Um Lotto from Toy Story 3. Oh, he's a good villain. Yeah, good villain. And then really niche, but um, either Plankton, but then if you're really thinking villain villain, like Man Ray or the Dirty Bubble from SpongeBob. Man Ray.

SPEAKER_03 47:32

Yeah. But I was like, But Plankton is a good villain. Plankton's gonna be a big thing. He's like a funny villain.

SPEAKER_04 47:36

Yeah. Well, Man Ray is too, but like he makes the other the dirty bubble really just like appeared. Yeah. Whenever the barnacle when Barnacle Boy became the villain for a few episodes, that was always a good one.

SPEAKER_01 47:48

Remember, we were Barnacle Boy and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy one year ago.

SPEAKER_00 47:54

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:55

So if you have a good story and you want to send it in, send it into infow at weddingprocast.com and put story submission in the subject line so we know to categorize and read it.

SPEAKER_04 48:04

All right. And that's that. We will see you next week.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

Yep.